One of the hardest things about being in the NICU is dealing with the question of why....which of course you can't really deal with because no one ever really knows why.
We can explain medical conditions and it makes us feel better but do we really know why? We can talk about prenatal care....but what if you did get prenatal care? Then why? We can talk about risks for prematurity...but why does someone else have the same risk factor and end up with a baby that avoids the NICU? Why do term babies end up in the NICU? Why are there problems at birth that didn't show up on the sono? Why do some babies go home healthy and others go home with challenges? As you know the list goes on and on...and unfortunately it is infinitely longer than the answers.
I have been in practice 10 years and out of medical school 15 years. I have been to tons of lectures, done tons of research and spent tons of money on my education. I have taken care of thousands of babies and still it doesn't matter...because none of us really knows why. And that's the question parents seem to ask themselves the most in those first few days.,weeks... months and sometimes years later. And truthfully it's a question I have too.
At one of those many lectures I attended I had the opportunity to hear a mom speak about her child who was born with a serious chromosome defect and only lived until she was 9 months of age.... a miracle in itself because the doctors had said she wouldn't live past 24 hours. What she said was this............"God could have chosen anyone in the world to be this child's Mom and Dad...and he chose us...Why Me?........ Why Not Me?... we are forever grateful for the privilege of having held her, cared for her and to this day loving her."
Those words have stayed with me..........."Chosen".....I never really thought about it that way..............but it's true. And they provided me great comfort as I thought about my own son...who was full term and healthy but with significant learning disabilities............."God could have chosen anyone in the world to be his mom and dad ...but he chose us ....trusted us...Why Us? Why Not Us?"
So now whenever I meet a special new life in the NICU.....I think...... I was chosen to work today....to experience this life....experience this family....to treasure this moment.....I am grateful for the opportunity....and look forward to another chance to learn...to grow....to share.
Special Families..... Special Babies... Chosen Journeys...Appointed Moments...it's all in a day's work in the NICU and you know what.....out of the NICU too!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Why Neonatology?
I've wanted to start a blog for years....to connect with those special people chosen for NICU journeys and to connect with those people trying to help those people chosen for NICU journeys. Although I have been a neonatologist for 10 years..........there's one question that always seems to make me pause........cause my voice to crack...and bring tears to my eyes. It's a simple enough question, "What do you do for a living?" We all answer this question over and over...again and again...and most of us know the answer. It's not that I don't know what I do...I do know...it's that most people understand what I do...what they really want to know is Why I do.
A neonatologist is a pediatrician that specializes in the care of premature infants and sick term infants. Usually when I say that...the next comment i s, "Why?? How sad....I couldn't do that." To that I say.....I was originally led to neonatology because my sister was a preemie and I was fascinated that she had spent the first three months of her life in a plastic box called an incubator. But the longer I live... the more I realize those seeds were planted by God.....this isn't just a job it's a ministry and for that I am grateful. Every time I am in the delivery room....and look into a precious baby's face....I remember we are created in His Image. I think I am looking at His Image. To feel a little chest moving, to see a little heart beating to watch a baby receive what truly is the breath of life... what a gift.
What's more...unfortunately and yes sadly, sometimes the gift is short....and then not only do I get to see His image but I get to see the faces of angels. I am reminded again how precious life is, how precious families are and how precious children are. What a privilege it is to care for them and their families....and I don't take it for granted. I recognize that we will not be able to save every baby...but we can save the human spirit...and that's what it's all about..............and that's why I do Neonatology!
A neonatologist is a pediatrician that specializes in the care of premature infants and sick term infants. Usually when I say that...the next comment i s, "Why?? How sad....I couldn't do that." To that I say.....I was originally led to neonatology because my sister was a preemie and I was fascinated that she had spent the first three months of her life in a plastic box called an incubator. But the longer I live... the more I realize those seeds were planted by God.....this isn't just a job it's a ministry and for that I am grateful. Every time I am in the delivery room....and look into a precious baby's face....I remember we are created in His Image. I think I am looking at His Image. To feel a little chest moving, to see a little heart beating to watch a baby receive what truly is the breath of life... what a gift.
What's more...unfortunately and yes sadly, sometimes the gift is short....and then not only do I get to see His image but I get to see the faces of angels. I am reminded again how precious life is, how precious families are and how precious children are. What a privilege it is to care for them and their families....and I don't take it for granted. I recognize that we will not be able to save every baby...but we can save the human spirit...and that's what it's all about..............and that's why I do Neonatology!
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